Rescue

Cause I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You...

I am tired. As my charges would say, "I amen't" tired like I need sleep...well I AM. But that's not what I was talking about. I have no idea what is wrong with me or what I should be doing or where I'm going or who I'm becoming or what I'm doing with myself and what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. I was telling God this last night, that He just needs to help me because I don't even know what I'm doing...and I realized..I guess...that could be a good place to be. I'm just going to have to trust Him. I wasn't giving my all today, and I don't think I have been, for a while. I used to make up my own human videos and practice them all by myself, ending exhausted--and I wouldn't realize till I was done how much I'd put into it. Because THEN I would feel exhausted. Now I'm just...not doing it. I look fake, I don't feel it, and I feel like I'm going to puke nearly every morning there's practice.
I
can't
do
this.

I can't do ANYthing. I'm just...not good. I'm not...right.

Okay. **takes deep breath** I vented, I listened to Rescue by Michael Gungor, I listened to I Can't Do This by Plumb, I laughed at how ridiculous I sound, and I realized I'm blowing things out of proportion. It's going to be okay. God will always. work things out perfectly.

And if I have to crawl
Well You'd crawl too
I stumble and I fall
Carry me through
The wonder of it all
Is You see me through...

Here I am
At the end of me
Trying to hold
To what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise:
There will be a dawn!

(I love that line! :D)

Dudes, I am not depressed, nor do I think I have the worst life ever. I love my friends, my family, God, and they love me, and I know they love me. It's me that's the problem. I need to get past myself and do this thing. I know I can't do it, but I can give it my all and let God take over the rest. And I know He will, because He's done it before.